A Focused Mind

I have heard so many people say your eyes and ears are the gateway to your mind. True  enough I’m sure like many others I didn’t take this statement too serious. I control my thoughts! In a sense you do control your thoughts. You have the power to think negative or positive. However what you read or listen to has an major effect on that as well. Let me explain how.

I always loved to read books since my teenage days. And I am sure like most young teen girls reading urban fiction novels was better than playing house or barbie. I was always interested in reading urban fiction novel but they had to have a plot to them. I was never interested in just the sex scenes. I read for the hood romances. Yes sad to say I am a hopeless romantic. However I didn't realize how much reading these types of books effected the way I viewed love. Not until my most recent failed situationship. I kept expecting a Bentley but ended up with a Grand Prix every time. What I mean is I was getting my hopes up when I knew deep down inside that it would never work out. Foolishly in love. I was expecting to be like the women in the novels I so often read about. Who to fell deeply in love with a thug who doesn't have a clue how to be a boyfriend and has baby mama drama. My fantasy world was setting me up in my reality world. I would date these guys who I would normally not and ended up getting burned in the end. So many of us women go through heartache at our own risk knowing that the man is no good. I had to come to realize that not only was the material that I was reading was the problem but I was too. Not going lie I have dealt with some of the most idiotic situations all because my heart wouldn't let go or the simple fact I didn't want to be alone. 

In the year 2012 I was engaged at the age of 22. I had only been with my fiance for about a year and a half before he popped the question. Prior to this we had so many issues that I never thought he would ask me to marry him. I dealt with being used, cheated on, and over all treated like trash. That relationship was so toxic to my mental and physical health, leaving me depressed and rapidly losing weight. My heart had had enough, but not my head. I was so stubborn and devoted to making things work between us. It wasn't until a long talk with my godfather that I came to realize that "He" was not the man for me.

I have been guilty of reading these types of books from 2002 til 2017. Last year around Christmas my grandmother bought me a book called "Four Things Women Want From A Man" by A.R. Bernard. I have had this book for over a year and had yet to crack it open. But one day I'm home bored with nothing to do and I look at my bookshelf. For some reason this book stood out to me. I grab it get into granny mode with my tea and blanket and start to read. When I say I was just amazed at how off I was about love, marriage, and men in general. I am still currently reading it because I am taking my time to really soak in all that this book has to offer.

Domonique RussellComment